omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
