Apparently you make a good broom.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
