do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
