Is it normal to miss your booty call?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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