listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The power of my boobs compel you
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
