I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
