Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
