thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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