OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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