you guys were way drunker than both of me
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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