That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
