You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We smell like vodka and hangover
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