She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
