Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize