you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
