just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just cropdusted the office
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
