I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
