So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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