they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it's great music for shaving your balls
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
