id be glad to
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
