I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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