It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
