the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
