if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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