Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
