I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
