I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
