I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
