Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
