smell my finger.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
