I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize