Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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