Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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