Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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