I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
