so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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