So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
