So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize