your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
