yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
