I just made out with a guy for $7.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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