Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
