I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
