Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
