You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You pole danced in your parka.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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