He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
