I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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