i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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