you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
