Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize