i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
