Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she smelled like a LAN party
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
