i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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