help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Text me some of your sweat
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
