Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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