i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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