She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
