Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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