Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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