I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
