I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
she smelled like a LAN party
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
