Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
