I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
