The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
