I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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