Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
