I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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