i don't plan on having that self control this summer
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
