You can't special order awesome
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
