Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
