I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize