You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
