I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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