found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
