You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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