If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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