all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
