It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
