You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
