Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
